The first week of work and the new year is over.
So in my last post I said how happy I was that I’d managed to get up after my alarm went off, and shower before work. The intention is to do this as often as possible (within reason).
When you only get a few hours of sleep per night every night it really messes with you, mind and body. I didn’t want to set a resolution as I don’t want to set myself up for failure or perceive me not doing it as a bad thing.
I don’t work wednesdays so I don’t set an alarm, the dog gets us up anyway and after we feed him we let him get into bed with us and have a nice little snooze til we get up.
I actually ended up having a PTSD nightmare so I stayed in bed most of the day cuddling with the dog and zoning out listening to podcast episodes. It really shook me up and I did go back to sleep for a bit as it’s so mentally draining. The plan for wednesday was to go see Spiderman – No Way Home and take our wedding stuff to the dry cleaners but I ended up bailing and doing none of that because I just couldn’t face it.
Thursday I managed to get up and get ready for work on time (showered and everything) but was still feeling pretty rubbish about everything so ended up logging off around lunch time and letting my manager know I’d make up the time.
Friday I got up fairly last minute, the snooze button was abused as usual and I didn’t shower before work, just pulled my joggers and a comfy hoodie on and tried my best to get through the day without messing anything up.
I ended up cancelling all my weekend plans as well so it’s been a fairly low key time, but mentally exhausting. I’m feeling somewhat better today and my IBS has seemingly stopped playing up (for now – fingers crossed!) so I’m optimistic I can have a not terrible week next week and will continue to try all the little things that make me feel better.
I’ve been using an app called Dare that was recommended to me by my case worker, it has meditation, breathing exercises, basically a bunch of recordings that you can use as and when you need them. Panic attacks, low self esteem and insomnia all have their sections so when I was freaking out after my dream on wednesday I listened to a few of them and they did help calm me down. I’ll definitely keep trying with that and seeing if it makes a difference, it has a morning motivation bit so maybe I’ll give that a go if it’s not too corny.
Hope your week and weekend was as good as can be!